Music to decorate the tree by...

Is what I heard on the radio tonight as i zoomed to the grocery store to get cheese.

The radio is full of Christmas tunes, I usually have a not til Dec 1st rule.

School is crazy busy but I love it...

Have got lots of post from home this week including an advent calendar, some crocs (YES crocs) and a parcel I'm not allowed to open til thanksgiving! How exciting!

It was the coldest it's been this morning. I need to buy a scarf!

We will be spending Christmas in New York, just the two of us. Magic!!

The photo is from uptown Charlotte. I love rainbow colours. COLOURS!

Evanescence Forgive Me Lyrics
Songwriters: N/A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyxjtZXIvi4

Can you forgive me again
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurts so much to hurt you

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now
To kill those words for you
Each time I say something I regret
I cry I don't want to lose you
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah!

'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me, Oh!

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive
So stay with me
You look in my eyes
And I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry [sorry]

[Ooh I'm sorry]

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you.

I've hurt myself...

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything
I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything
I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day,
I would tell you how much thatI've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything
I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you

charlotte reflected

This is all...I manage to get a good shot every now and then....

Ash - Thinking About You
I haven't seen you since this morningI
'm filled with the sweetest pain
A constant aching in my soul that won't go away
Thinking about youI'm thinking about youThinking about you
I'm thinking about you
In the quiet hours before dawn
Talking quietly in the hall
Windows open on the street below
As a light rain started to fall
Thinking about you
I'm thinking about you
Thinking about you
I'm thinking about you
After a night beside you
A night alone is cold and barren as before
A constant achingPersistent raining
Incessant longing all through the day
In the soft half light of dawn
Feel the closeness of every breath
See the body outlined
Your form, your silhouette
I haven't seen you since this morningS
till everywhere you remain
A constant aching in my soul
All through the rainsoaked day
Thinking about you
I'm thinking about you
Thinking about you
I'm thinking about you

This really touched me in my inbox today. You can be with somebody for a long time and still melt when they say something like that. Thank you.

Ups and Downs

Well It's been a busy week in the Queen City. For you Brits the city is named after Queen Charlotte and gets nicknamed the Queen City.

Let me think....

Last Friday we got invited to a dueling piano bar which was really fun. For a tip you can request songs, there are two huge pianos and everyone sings along. It was a good night.

Last weekend was a washout. A lot of sleep. And getting up and going back to sleep. Going only to the grocery store. People upsetting each other. It was crap in all honesty.

The sun/mon night were no fun due to lack of sleep, Sun unexplained and Mon again due to people upsetting people. Ok, me upsetting people. Sorry. Again.

The rest of the week I felt I was playing catch up on sleep, school work, I was always one step behind and exhausted the whole week. Thanks to D I managed to get my display board done as he pretty much did all the ground work for me on the computer, i just stapled it up there.

Did you ever despise something you are yourself? I despise people who are needy. People who rely on other people to feel better. People who need and seek the attention of others. Yet I think I am this myself. I'm not going to elaborate any more than that at the moment.

Sometimes I have a hard time (I think) distinguishing between real life and my imagination. I have an overactive imagination. I hope. I hate living the way I do in my head sometimes. I am never relaxed. I am never secure. I am always worried.

This is all.

A funny kinda week

Well it was announced on monday that as it was a teacher work day on tuesday we didnt have to go to school because we all have so little gas. I managed to get full up on that day though after school and was just so excited to get an extra day off!

In the morning (tues) I realised my pay hadn't gone in my bank, eventually found out that this is becasue I have NO SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER YET! I applied ages ago, all the other VIF teachers got theirs, dont know why mine is such a problem. VIF are looking into it for me.

So I had to go to school to collect my pay check, not to mention before that take out UK money to pay into the USA bank account to cover medical and car payments. Here if you get a check in by 2pm it will clear by midnight the same day. If after 2pm it will be midnight the next day etc. It didnt arrive at school until 14.50.

Then the nice lady at the bank just said she would credit it to my account instantly as it was a school board check. Was not expecting that! So I kinda went to target and bought a few new clothes!! Very very cheap though!

At school on wednesday I felt weak. Just like all my muscles were not working. Absolute fatigue. We got pizza and I was in bed reading by 8pm. asleep by 8.30pm. On awakening I still felt terrible (still do) so took a day off.

I really want to be better for tomorrow not only for school but as we have a couple of social events - dinner with my VIF neighbour and going to a piano bar with a kindergarten collegue.

I can only explain it as exhaustion. I dont know yet if it is just that or if it is something worse. Time will tell I guess. I feel like I have run a marathon or something, all my muscles ache.

So here I am at home, still in my pJs, feeling sorry for myself.