Nan

It has hit me tonight, harder than since flying home from the funeral, how much I miss my dear dear Nan who passed away in August last year.

Tonight I just feel heart broken. I have just been sobbing, as if it was a new concept to me. Is this normal?

I feel guilty (of sorts) and gutted remembering the times after her stroke when she would cry and ask me to come home. I would so dearly have loved to 'see her again' and I know this can never happen. She cried when I left the UK and said we might not see each other again. I thought we would. She was strong, resilient.

I miss you Nan. I will never ever forget you. I love you. Here are some flowers I know you would love. I know you kept them always for Grampy and Andrew. - My Grandad died when I was 3 and my counsin died tragically in a car accident in his 30s.

I need to get some real flowers for you very soon.

I know my Dad is acting silly chasing the cat here, but I love how relaxed my Nan looks. This is the last time I saw her.